Struggles here and there

Today I'd like to write about the struggle I undergo on a somewhat frequent basis--the decision whether or not to eat something that I find morally objectionable. I no longer go through this about meat--the smell repels me, and there's not much that would convince me to actually eat flesh again. However, cheese is another matter, as are eggs... they're just yummy. And ubiquitous in most recipes I see. (Side note: I have learned something about cooking. You have to be really, really good when you can't smother your creations in cheese!)

The issue is compounded by the fact that I have to (HAVE TO) eat gluten free (I have Celiac disease). I haven't had any gluten in a long, long time, but if I did, I'd get very sick, and you wouldn't want to be around me. (Also, Celiacs who eat gluten over and over can develop cancer of the stomach and other nasty things.) So, when I travel or similarly lose complete control over what I eat, I have to first make sure that my food won't make me sick. This often limits me at breakfast, for example, to fruit (if I'm lucky) and omelets. So far, I do eat eggs when away from home. I just get hungry, you know? But I don't feel completely okay about it; that's why I thought I'd blog about it.

I don't see much on the webs about struggling as a vegan. I see a lot of strong vegans and strong critics. :) I feel it's best to be honest and say, yes, it's difficult to give up things you've been eating your whole life. Yes, I miss cheese. Yes, I eat it on occasion when it's the only thing (or one of the only things) I can have at an event. But as I enjoy that creaminess (the mouth feel, right?), I think about the suffering of the cows whose milk was taken to make that cheese. And that makes it a good bit less enjoyable.

The good news, to me at least, is that humans are so adaptable. When we put our minds to it, we can get used to just about anything! And that includes cheese. Yes, even cheese. Which is why I'm hopeful that in the future I'll find ways to avoid it, even if it means getting a little too hungry for comfort, or experiencing some nostalgia here and there, or even a sense of loss. If there's anything I've learned as a vegan, it's that food is intimately connected to my memories, moods, habits, and social life. But I'm in control, after all, and I'm working on making some changes. More on that later.